Monday, May 18, 2009

Pleasure Yourself

Q: What comes in a shiny pink package, is nicknamed the "chocolate finger," and is marketed towards women with ads saying "Pleasure yourself" and "Naughty, but not that naughty"?

A: A candy bar, silly. What else did you expect?

According to NPR, your source for breaking news on sexually explicit candy bars:
The Snickers bar has a new sibling, and it's a girl.

She's sexual, uninhibited — and only 85 calories. The "Fling" is the first new chocolate bar Mars has introduced in more than 20 years.

Wrapped in a shiny pink and sliver package, this delicate "chocolate finger" is intended for women. The word "finger" is an industry term for a long, slim confection, Mars spokesman Ryan Bowling says, but with ads that invite you to "Pleasure yourself" in pink lettering, consumers might come to other conclusions.
I can only venture to guess that the Mars candy bar company has had record low sales to women, resulting in ridiculously desperate attempts to reach their target demographic. And rather than giving us a subtle reminder of how sensually delicious chocolate is, they've decided to shove it down our throats with a marketing campaign written by someone who has read one too many Danielle Steel novels. I'm surprised it doesn't vibrate.

Also, it has no nuts. What kind of a candy bar is that? I love me some chocolate, but gimme my snickers.

1 comment:

Ryan said...

Dear Julia,

Please contact me back at, one of my co-workers has a quesiton about your blog. She writes a lot on healthcare at her blog mahablog.

Please email me back and I will put you in touch with her!